Johnny Test Porn Story: Testing 1 2 3 Testing – Chapter 7

Ohayo Motherhopers! Apologies about the very, very late update, but I couldn’t seem to get this last chapter of my fiction perfect… So here’s the next and last chapter! Sad? Don’t be. You’ll see more of my work floating around the FanFiction Land archives. Enjoy!

As I crush this city under my monstrous feet, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love, hate… I don’t care.

Spring Tuesday

Today was tough. The day started out normal enough but around the Test family breakfast table, things started to get a little hairy. Johnny Test shuffled over to the table in a sleepy haze. Grabbing his favorite super-sugary marshmallow, chocolate cereal the eleven-year-old stared off into space as he poured himself a bowl. Dukey even stumbled into the kitchen. Yeah, not a good sign.

Mornin Dukey, Johnny yawned filling up his cereal bowl with milk.

Mornin Johnny, the talking dog returned, pulling out a kitchen chair and taking a seat at the table.

Both boys, looking like undead zombies sat in silence as they snapped out of sleep.

Good morning guys! Susan and Marys voice blasted through the kitchen.

This early in the morning, Johnny and Dukey werent ready for a scare. Both fell out of their chairs. The super-genius twin sisters pranced into the kitchen, set up with their favorite cereal and sat at the table with big smiles on their faces.

Okay, Johnny crawled back up on his chair, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Why are you two so chipper this morning? Tuesday mornings are not supposed to be this happy.

Their little brothers remark didnt dampen the twins spirits.

Todays going to be a great day Johnny! Mary cheered. Its spring! Its time for new flowers to blossom and romance to fill the air!

With that Susan and Mary shared a syrupy, love-struck sigh.

Gil, they both sighed.

Normally his sisters blatant refusal for courtesy around him didnt affect Johnny, but he was after all, eating.

Aw man, the eleven-year-old gagged pushing his half-eaten cereal away from him. Romance is gross! And why do you have to talk gross around the breakfast table?

Ignoring him, Susan and Mary gave another fluffy sigh.

You know, Johnny, Dukey stated. Romance is not gross to girls. In fact, your sisters will probably be talking mushy romance stuff all morning.

Johnny made a face.

So then we should get while the gettins good, the blond replied.

Exactly, the dog answered.

Both boys zipped out of the kitchen like the wind itself.

For the remainder of the morning up until the bus came and got Johnny, both eleven-year-old and Dukey sat on the front steps of their house. Johnnys thoughts were in an area hed rather not go to.

This stinks, the flaming-haired, blond boy moped. Every spring its like this. Why do girls do this every spring?

The eleven-year-old turned to his talking dog, who seemed to understand humanity, the world and girls far better than he did. Dukey paused, pressing his paw to his chin thoughtfully as he carefully chose the right words.

Well Johnny, the mutt began. Girls have a higher romance tolerance than us guys do. They also have something called expectations.

Johnnys face filled with fear.

Are these expectations a chronic thing? the boy asked, betting scared.

Dukey nodded.

Women have them from the day their born til the day they die, Dukey answered. Its bad news for us. Girls have expectations toward us dudes and if we dont fulfill them, well lets just say

The dog paused for a second before he zipped into the blond boys face and got intense.

The women will make our lives a festering pit of woe and misery, Dukey pressed his forehead on Johnnys, staring the boy right in the eye. You can forget about happiness! Women have a way of sucking out your spine and making you a spineless jelly sack!

Slamming his hands over his eyes, Johnny dropped to his back and squirmed on the front steps for a few long seconds.

Man! This stinks! the eleven-year-old groaned. I dont wanna be spineless! If thats the future I have to look forward to then- Im gonna not uh, not Im not gonna grow old!

Johnny folded his arms in a pout just as the bus pulled up. Dukey put a paw on his best buds shoulder.

There might be a solution to your problem though, the dog stated. But its pretty extreme, even for you.

Johnny jumped up, grabbed his dog by the ears and starred him in the face.

What do I have to do? Dukey! This is my future! Im not gonna be spineless! the eleven-year-old cried.

Just then the neighborhood eleven-year-old girl, known as Sissy pranced up to the waiting school bus. Spotting her charming, though shed never admit it, boy neighbor staring at his dog intently, a rare smile came to her face.

Morning Test! Sissy waved cheerily at the boy, back-pack over one of her shoulders.

DROP DEAD YOU POSSUM FACED BABOON! came the blond boys reply as he shook a fist at her.

Frowning and making a promise to really pound the insults into Johnnys thick head today, Sissy huffed and walked on the bus.

Over his head being shook like a maraca, Dukey cringed at Johnnys bluntness with Sissy.

Thats exactly whats setting you up for a long life, Johnny, the dog pointed out. You cant just scream insults at girls! Theyre sensitive!

What? Johnny blinked, ceasing his zealous shaking of his dogs head. Oh, thats just Sissy. I do it to her all the time!

Dukey cringed again.

Whats with the face? the eleven-year-old boy asked his dog. Sissys not a girly girl. Shes not sensitive because she doesnt wear a skirt.

The mutt slapped his forehead.

Just because Sissy doesnt dress like a girly girl, doesnt mean shes not sensitive, Dukey slapped Johnnys wrist and wagged a finger in his face. Under that hardened, bossy, shrill, petty shell, lies the heart of a girly girl. First step to your future solution: be nice and courteous to Sissy.

The dog was now pushing the eleven-year-old to the bus. Johnny dug his heels into the cement, suddenly getting a cold sweat.

WHAT?! Johnny exclaimed. Im not gonna be nice and courteous! Shes- shes shes SISSY! Shes as nasty as a monster trashing Tokyo!

I bet my last squeak toy that the reason shes like that is because you constantly yell insults at her! Dukey returned. Be nice to her and shell be nice to you!

Johnny was now on the buss first step, but he was hanging on to the door as Dukey pushed with all his might.

I wont! the eleven-year-old blond boy hissed. Theres no way Im gonna be nice!

Dukey strained as he tried to push his stubborn best friend into the bus.

You ARE gonna be nice or its a long life for you pallie! the dog returned.

Finally, like the lid of a shook up soda bottle, Johnny squirted into the bus. Sitting up on the dirty bus floor, he caught Dukey waving at him as the bus doors closed. Johnny zipped to the door and plastered his face on the glass.

Theres no way Im gonna be nice! he shouted at this dog, through the glass. NO WAY!

Then there was silence through bus as Johnny realized he had a yelly-fit in front of the neighborhood kids. Peeking over the first bus seat, Johnny saw all of the other kids looking at him. Then the bus driver cleared his throat.

Can we get going without another episode, kid? the caustic bus driver cocked a furry brow as Johnny got to his feet.

Johnny couldnt answer before he was insulted.

Yeah Test! Sissy called from her seat. Save the creepy meltdown for school, that way its justified as specimen study!

A roar of laughter from the other kids as Johnny blushed and took a seat. Pressing his face to his seats window, Johnny looked at Dukey with big, scared eyes. Dukey gestured for the boy to smile and then pointed at Sissy. Johnny sighed as the bus started moving again. Glaring back at the blond eleven-year-old girl, Johnny locked eyes with her for a second. Sissy gave him a triumphant, cocky grin as she flicked her ponytail. Johnny couldnt help but give her a heated glare that he could only hope would sear a hole through her forehead.

This was gonna be a long day of school.

First, second, third and forth period passed without much action. Johnny was still traumatized as he rolled the notion of being nice to Sissy around in his mind. He couldnt be nice to her! She was just too evil! Johnny was sure she slept in a coffin! Thats how nasty she was! But still he was thinking about his future and so, Johnny was either determined or crazy.

It was Porkbelly Middle Schools lunch period and all the kids welcomed the relief. But for Johnny, the stress had only begun.

Getting his usual tray full of government food, the eleven-year-old blond boy took a look around the lunch room for (groan) Sissy. Johnny finally spotted her, sitting by herself on the opposite end of the room. He quivered like he was staring down a death march.

Okay Johnny, he whispered to himself, white knuckling on his lunch tray. Sissys born of complete evil, everyone knows that. But if you dont suck it up and be a man, youll be a spineless jellyfish, just like Dukey said Okay here we go.

Johnny began walking over to Sissy. His movement caught the attention of one kid, then that another kid saw that kid staring and before long, the whole cafeteria was staring.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sissy caught movement. Looking up from her applesauce, her eyes widened when she saw who was standing there. There was Johnny Test, trying hard to pull of a happy smile as he was white knuckling on his lunch tray. Then Sissy caught the other kids of the cafeteria staring. Shooting them a venomous glare, the kids nervously went back to their food.

What do you want Test? the blond eleven-year-old girl hissed, the possum-faced baboon insult still fresh in her mind.

Johnny gulped.

I-I w-wanted to know i-if I could have l-lunch with y-you? he choked out, giving a strained smile.

Sissy blinked at him.

Lunch? With me? she repeated, then she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Why?

Johnny was starting to sweat.

B-B-Because, he mustered, trying to remember Dukeys advice. Y-y-you a-are the (groan) s-s-sweetest girl in the neighborhood and I- (sigh) would like to bask in your glory.

Now his smile was turning into something that looked like a nauseated fish. Sissy, part of her wanting to be flattered, another part wanting to be angry at the boys face and the other was just suspicious. She gave into the latter.

Yeah right Test, she folded her arms. Why really?

I just told you why! Johnny returned, not being able to contain himself further.

In his little tantrum, he accidentally tossed his lunch tray skyward. The lunch tray jetted out of the boys hands and flew sky high. Time slowed down as the two eleven-year-olds saw the tray turn over and a wave of government food coming Sissys way. Sissy had just enough time to shut her eyes as school food blanketed her.

The girl let out a yelp of surprise before she gave a low, primal growl.

Test, Sissy snarled, wiping Eggplant casserole, applesauce and various canned veggies from her face.

I didnt mean that! Johnny gasped. I meant to-!

He yanked a napkin out from under Sissys milk carton. The milk tumbled into the air before landing on Sissys lap, soaking the crotch of her pants.

I didnt mean that either! Johnny pleaded.

Sissys face turned red with anger as the cafeteria erupted into hysterical laughter. Getting up from her seat, the girl stomped passed Johnny to clean up.

The events of school went on like that for the whole day. Johnny tried to be courteous and polite but only ended up hurting and/or splattering something on Sissy. Needless to say, his good intentions went very, very, very, very wrong. And at the end of the day, Sissy hated Johnny more than she did this morning. When the bus came by to pick them up, Johnny estimated that he had one last time to show Sissy he could be sensitive. He parked his eleven-year-old rear at the front of the bus and placed his backpack on the seat. He was gonna get Sissy a seat! A totally chivalrous move that would get him wicked brownie points! Now, alls he had to do was wave her over. Simple right?

Filing in like the other kids, Sissy marched on the bus. Johnny spotted her immediately.

OO! Sissy! Over here, Sis-! he waved his arm in a circle.

He got her attention and a painful flick on his nose. Johnny fell back in his bus seat, hands clapped over his nose and yelping in pain. Sissy angrily ignored the boys pain-laced whimpering and walked to a different seat.

My nose! Johnny cried.

Ugh, the bus driver groaned. Not you again. Are you gonna keep the regularly scheduled chaos down this time?

Johnny sat up, blinking the tears out of his eyes and looked at the bus driver.

Hey! the eleven-year-old gasped like he solved cold fusion. Youre the morning guy! What are you doing here?

The middle-aged man sighed.

Just saving up to buy an island, the man returned.

With that profound statement circling his head, Johnny Test sat back in his seat as the bus tires squealed into movement.

The bus ride to the neighborhood was kinda long, kinda short, Johnny was the wrong person to ask. Between the bus drivers comment and his Sissy predicament, Johnnys brain was full. The eleven-year-old stumbled off of the bus, happy to be where his brain could take a rest.

Youre such a lame-o, Johnny heard Sissys voice behind him.

He jumped and whirled around. Sissy looked like shed swallowed the worst lemon in history.

Lame-o? Johnny scratched his head. What?! Im not a lame-o!

Yes you are, Sissy glowered. Whats with you today? Youve been extra annoying today What? Is it a lame-o leap year?

Insults just came naturally around the sassy girl. Johnnys mouth opened, but he stopped himself before he could say something stupid, further ruining his future. He held in his totally awesome insult as his face twisted terribly.

Test? Are you okay? Sissy asked, now concerned that he might have popped a synapse.

Johnny strained, keeping in the insult. But it was almost too much to handle. He writhed, keeping it in. With her neighbors weird hopping around and funny face, Sissy got tired of Johnny being Johnny.

Listen geek wad, Sissy grabbed the front of the eleven-year-olds shirt. You owe me an apology. I still smell like Eggplant.

Insult… Burning Cant Breathe! Johnny couldnt hold it in anymore.

EGGPLANT-HAIR-WEDGE-PICKER-BUTT-FACE!! it came out in a loud shout.

Johnny clapped his hands over his mouth and looked timidly at his neighbor. To his surprise, Sissys eyes were quickly filling up with tears. Without another word, she dropped his shirt and ran home, crying.

Sissy! Wait! I- I didnt- Aw man, Johnny hung his head.

Now he totally hurt her feelings. Johnny ran home to see if Dukey could help with his problem quickly growing larger and larger every time he opened his mouth.

The Test house wasnt easy to miss for the fact that there were over a million roses on the front lawn. Johnny had to make a path straight through the flowers to get to his front door. He busted in on an avalanche of roses.

DUKEY! the eleven-year-old shouted.

Then he heard his talking dogs paw-falls on the tiled kitchen floor as he scrambled to Johnny.

WHAT? What is it?! the talking fur ball looked over his best friend, noting the look on his face. Gee, Johnny. You look like you just barfed on the presidents lap.

Johnny looked at the dog.

First of all, whats with the roses? Did a botanist truck wreck on the front lawn? he asked curiously.

Dukey kinda smiled.

Well, those million and a half roses are for Susan from Eugene a.k.a. Bling Bling Boy, the dog returned.

Just then Mary, the second of the Test twins ran from the kitchen, sobbing uncontrollably and bawling her eyes out. Johnny sighed.

Let me guess, the boy voiced. Marys upset because she cant get a boy to notice her even if she did wear a T-bone steak.

Dukey nodded.

Shes not happy that no boy, including desperate, rich, chubby super-geniuses, are interested in her, the dog watched the hallway Mary went running down. So, its the normal spring time! Whats up with you?

Johnny hung his head.

I blew it today, he answered. Every attempt I made on being nice to Sissy backfired. And just a second ago, I made her cry. Dukey, WHAT DO I DO?!

Flowers, the dog returned like it was no big deal. Give Sissy some of Susans roses. Im sure your sister wont mind.

The eleven-year-old glanced down at the many roses around his feet.

You think itll work? Johnny asked skeptically.

Dukey nodded.

Flowers always make girls happy, then the dog bent down and got a bunch of roses in his mouth. Now hurry up! I gotta give these to Mary so shell stop her crying.

With that Johnny scooped up as many roses as he could carry and ran down the street to Sissys house. He found her sitting on her back porch, angrily staring at the ground. Swallowing his fear and accepting that he may not walk away with all of his faculties, Johnny walked up to her. Opening his arms, he dropped about a hundred roses at Sissys feet. The eleven-year-old girl jumped but her eyes darkened when she saw Johnny.

Im sorry, Johnny voiced before she tore out his throat, for calling you names, dumping my tray on you and hurting your feelings. And for being a super, mega, ultra lame-o.

He winced, waiting for her to punch his lights out. But nothing came. He opened his eyes.

What was with you today Test? Sissy growled, arms crossed. You were really pouring on the stupidity.

Johnny shrugged.

I was trying to be nice, but everything horribly backfired, he explained. So Im sorry.

Sissy was still suspicious, but she plucked a rose from the ground and smiled.

Okay Test, I forgive you, she stood. But you tell no one, or theyll never find your remains.

She shook a fist in Johnnys face. Johnny gave a nervous smile.

Agreed, he returned.

Meanwhile, Dukey was comforting a currently dateless Mary Test. Trotting into the lab, the talking mutt found his best friends sister slumped over her super computer, still crying. Dukey sighed and walked up to the grieving girl. Setting down his drool-covered roses, he sat beside her for a long second.

You know, Dukey began, clearing his throat. Boys arent all theyre cracked up to be.

He gave a nervous chuckle. Mary bawled louder. This was going nowhere.

Mary, listen, Dukey set a paw on her knee. Youre smart, sweet and caring. Youre really attractive and someday, youre gonna find your perfect boy. And when that day comes, that lucky sap better know what he has because a girl like you only come along once in a millennium.

Mary wiped her eyes and looked at Dukey.

R-really? she beamed.

The talking mutt nodded.

Yup! he beamed. Now stop crying and hiding your pretty face!

Dukey froze as Mary threw her arms around him.

Youre so sweet Dukey! the super genius beamed. Thank you!

The dog felt heat coming to his face as Mary released him.

Cool! Dukey floundered. Now, lets go downstairs and tease Susan about Eugene!

Mary nodded and laughed as the two walked out of the lab.

Yep. Just a normal Spring Tuesday.

It’s been a scream boys and girls! CJzilla exits with these last words: R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK!